I don’t think you can limit female support for wars to female soldiers and politicians. I’m reminded of the white feather campaign during World War 1 where women handed out white feathers as signs of cowardice to men who weren’t in the military.

The fact that it’s mostly men fighting in wars could mean that it’s men who are in favor of war, or it could mean that it’s men and women who are in favor of war, and it’s men who are actually sent to do the work of fighting. And the whole proving-your-manliness thing isn’t men’s desire for war, it’s society’s pressuring men into doing the dangerous work that someone’s gotta do.